How sweet are your words to my taste,
sweeter than honey to my mouth!
I gain understanding from your precepts;
therefore I hate every wrong path.
Your word is a lamp for my feet,
a light on my path.
The video below was the most helpful video I've watched in the last few weeks. It totally explained SO many reasons why I feel the way I do and what the heck is wrong with my body.
The first alarming fact is....STRESS is cumulative!!! Holy Cow! Then why aren't we all smashed out on the floor...dead from it!!! It actually shows me how amazing a body God created; that it can handle a lot of stuff before it just cries....UNCLE!
One of the most troubling facts was the weakness in my legs...more specifically my thighs....although I must say that knowing, is half the battle. They feel like I'm 90 years old when I get up. Even though I've been doing squats for several months and I've seen NO improvement....this would explain why. They are atrophied.
I've also had very high plasma Ferritin for the past 2 years. My doc believed it was due to inflammation caused by the MCAD (Mast Cell Disorder) but I now believe it is caused by Adrenal Fatigue that's been plaguing me for a good 2 years at least that has caused the inflammation. I do remember when I started to get so very tired....after my last battle with anaphylactic shock and having to use the Epi-Pen....filled with epinephrine. Then the Paramedics usually pump me full of Beny and in the ER they pump me some more!. It's ugly!!! Really ugly!!! Then we lambed and that nearly killed me....really. Having the farm just became more of a heartache then it was fun. The work was more then 1 girl can handle on her own....especially when she is nearly 60!!! So last Fall, I sold my sheep (mostly gave them away) and let it all go....it was really a very sad time, but now that I look back, I knew I had to. I knew I was SO tired. The kind of tired sleep doesn't fix. We call it burned out....and literally it is...your adrenals are burned out.
Really. It's a no wonder.
For now, until I see the Bio-Identical Doctor in a few weeks....this is what I'm doing to keep my head above water as I tenderly love my adrenals back to life.....yes, I do believe that the adrenals can be recovered....I know many don't....but I am not of that mind set.
STRESS in our lives is only going to get worse before it gets better. Did you know, retirement and moving are right up there at the top of the STRESS chart with death and divorce! Yeah, soooooo I've got a ways to go before I can sit back on my porch in Texas and drink (unsweet) tea! Although, I'm tempted to find a quiet spot at the beach and soak up the sun after The Farmher's Daughter's wedding in less then 3 weeks! Ahhh!
*Eating a well balanced diet with healing fats, proteins and carbs and that means consuming enough calories to get my metabolism off the ground floor and working again....I think that will come with the adrenals...but what do I know...it's all over my pay grade!!!
*Sleeping 7-8 hours every night
*Using Supplements for Sleep; 5 HTP, Melatonin and Melatonin Blend with Gaba (others I can't think of cause...cognitive ability is impaired!)
*Using Supplements for healing MY body which includes Adrenal Glandulars
*Drinking an organic tea blend infusion (steeped at least 20 minutes) of Ashwagandha, Rhemania, Holy Basil and Licorise to heal the adrenals
*Drinking Golden Milk using Synchro Gold Elixir, coconut milk and honey to help with inflammation
*Using Essential Oils: Positive Energy™ & Sleep Tight™ by Anada Apothecary, my own blends during the day for calming, well being
*Watch very little News....if I can't get it off the computer in 5 minutes then it's not worth the energy
*Prayer & Meditating on Scriptures
We all live in this fallen and broken world and consequently we all carry around these broken and bruised bodies. That is, until we are redeemed on the day of Glory when we shall be given new bodies that will never break and then reside with Jesus in the new heavens and new earth for all of eternity.
My body has been through a lot in almost 58 years. Most recently Lyme Disease & 3 co-infections plus, I've battled MCAD (Mast Cell Activation Disorder) which sent me into anaphylactic shock twice in the past 5 years. That in itself is enough to kill ya!! And if it doesn't kill ya, it will beat you down to a pulp!
Also in the past 5 years within a 2 year span we lost 3 of our 4 parents. That too is enough to break any heart.
Although the MCAD has been much improved, there have been other things ailing me. Things I can't shake. Things that for a while had no name.
"When you don't move the mountains I need you to move.
When you don't part the waters I wish I could walk through.
When you don't give the answers I cry out to you.
I will Trust In You."
When our son was a little guy...he's anything but that now.....he would tell me that when he read or thought he saw pictures and saw the words being spelled out in his little head.
I know now that is a sign of a GENIUS!!! :) Because I do it too!!!! :)
If you've known me for any length of time....you know it always comes full circle back to food!!! I love to talk about food!!! I love to talk about health! It's a genetic thing!
My new treatments this Summer (ok....I forgot to tell you...well I had some treatments so I could eat again.) gave me food without fear again! I am seeing Dr Lisa Gordon in Maryland who has used Advance Allergy Treatment to miraculously clear my body of alllllllll the foods I couldn't eat. My case was one of the most intense, complex and severe that she has seen. My list had become so long, it was easier to tell you what I could eat since it only included 5 foods.
My new treatments include chiropractic care and NRT...Nurtritional Response Testing. I have healed leaps and bounds and am enjoying a wide variety of foods again, including histamines, salicylates & oxilates!!!
Maybe even too much of a variety of foods!!! Our trip to Texas in September left me with 10 lbs I didn't like or want!!! So, I began trying to my darndest for over 3 months to loose weight. Every new "diet" turned into another 2-4 lbs....and I swear I don't cheat!!!
It was becoming SO frustrating because literally I could look at food and gain weight! I didn't even have to taste it, but on somedays the discouragement would overcome me and I'd eat some sugar. And especially when the stress came on after The Hired Hand had surgery the week of Thanksgiving......it was just too easy to grab a few slices of sourdough bread slap on some butter and get in the car. That was a nightmare week and we ended up canceling Thanksgiving!
Then I decided to just eat Paleo again. But I was eating dairy and legal Paleo sugars and flours. Well, that turned into 8 lbs almost overnight!!!! Because those "legal" Paleo Gingerbread cookies were SO good! 24 cookies=8lbs!
I met a gal who was on The Whole 30.....I think I'd heard the words but I didn't know what it was. So on Christmas Eve feeling ever so discouraged I looked it up. I figured....what have I got to loose....hahaha....about 30 lbs.....so Christmas Eve I signed up for free to start The Whole 30!
Basically it is a Paleo diet that eliminates ALL dairy, ALL sugars, ALL grains, ALL legume, and ALL alcohol. Simple right? Pretty much. Because really hard is loosing a parent or fighting with cancer. I've eaten this way in the past....but needed it desperately again. Because why should I throw away my health now that I can eat anything....well, maybe it was so I could taste ice cream, cheese, bread, sugar again......still not a wise choice!
I discovered along the way while reading their excellent book It's Starts With Food that I am most likely Leptin Resistant. With ALL the books on health I've read and all that I know....I knew nothing about Leptin!
Leptin is a hormone made in the brain. It basically alerts the body that it should conserve fat because it's starving. As I thought about it, I most likely became Leptin Resistant during the last 8 years when most of my current medical issues started after going into Anaphylactic Shock 5 year ago. It's just been snowballing.
My body has suffered greatly from a lack of nourishment. Something that NRT is addressing and correcting with whole food supplements! It's done amazing things for me!
So, here I am.....11 days into The Whole 30....feeling ever so encouraged!
I love making lamb meatballs (mostly because we have a freezer of lamb)....just an egg to a lb and some oregano, Salt and Pepper! Bake at 425* for 30 minutes!
I have a new toy called an Instant Pot!!! It's the best thing since sliced bread.....maybe not a good analogy!
It really is a time saver and the food is so moist and yummy!!!!
This weekend I experimented with Spaghetti Squash which I adore!!! I halved it, seeded and added 1 C water to the pot. Lay the squash in cut side up and set the pot for 15 minutes! PERFECT!!!! I allowed it to sit a bit since it was dang hot....that also allowed water to drain from it.
I make a simple Bolognas sauce with a 1/2 jar of sugar free sauce from Trader Joe's, oregano, salt, pepper, frozen spinach, and 1 C coconut milk!
I added it all back to the IP and set for 30 minutes on the Slow Cooker!
Yum Yum! One of my weekly go to favorites!!!
I know.....you are welcome....I pulled my Nikon out again! I'm not sure why I separated from it for a time....but I suppose that's just the way life is....but I do love the pics using it!!! My favorite setting is Manual....and I'm learning to adjust the lighting. Things take time.
And so, my health saga continues. I'm wondering....was I born this way or was it all the years spent with Lyme & Company that did this to me?
Intention: An Aim or Plan, A determination to live or act in a certain way.
When I chose my WORD for 2015 I was drawn to; Intention. In January I gave that word a lot of thought. Here we are 6 months into the New Year and I must confess the word "Intention" doesn't always cross my mind, but living with purpose does....daily! And living with gratitude and JOY does...daily!
We are all faced daily with people who want nothing more then to draw us down into the mud pit they live in. We live so much of our lives today in Social Media and reading or writing blogs; sometimes uncovering the ugliness that lies within, sometimes living a lie, sometimes fearing the masses.
We can choose to embrace a life that is filled with gratitude and JOY even in the midst of such ugliness. It really is our choice.
I recently joined a few FB groups for Mast Cell and Histamine Intolerance only to find mud slingers and naysayers! Finding those who are content being sick and want nothing more then to have you join them. I realized early on that if I were to stay on my path of healing it would be by embracing others who were positive and lived with intention. I also realized early on that I may bow out because the negativity can kill a joyful healing spirit.
And so I did!
Early in my Lyme diagnosis over 15 years ago (although I was sick for over 30 years), I also realized this same truth. I chose to heal in spite of the naysayers and haters. I chose each day to walk in wholeness. I chose to heal in spite of doctors who wanted to medicate with Rx instead of Food....who called Lyme, Depression when they didn't get what THEY wanted! And each day as I put one foot in front of the other and I chose to live a grateful life of intention!!!
And so I did!
Then one day I woke up from the long slumber. I realized that my life was dusty! I realized I was walking in wholeness and health! It just happened. Seriously! My mind was restored. My energy was restored. My life was restored.
Granted I'm now dealing with what is probably the aftermath of Lyme & 3 co-infections: Mast Cell Activation Disorder. But the day to day confused killer sickness of Lyme and friends was gone.....just not there! My liver had taken a beating from 3 years of Artemisia, but a year of walking in health and continuing to do all that I credited for my wellness (REAL Food, Adaptogen Herbs, Supplements, Acupuncture & Chinese Medicine) I brought my liver and all my body functions back to perfect health!!!! Perfect lab work that made my doctors want to do backflips off their desks!
I continue to work hard (Hubs agrees....if anyone can fight like hell it's me) and most recently I have met a new face of Mast Cell; Urticaria....HIVES! I wake up and usually have new spots....at first I thought maybe I had bedbugs only on my side of the bed!!! Stripping and washing the bed and setting up the air cleaner to zap them....haha!!! Then I realized that I'd caused a chemical Mast Cell reaction from trying some store bought sunscreen.....I don't use that stuff....really, but I had virgin skin on my back that never sees the light of day and didn't want to blister....trust me....blistering would of been a blessing.....so now my body is reacting daily and I feel like I have chicken pox. A spot here and a spot there....pretty soon we'll be able to connect the dots and have a piece of art!!!
This too shall pass!
I really do credit living a life of intention, a life of gratitude, a life of JOY and a life of believing God wanted nothing but the best for me that brought me to this place of vibrancy and walking in truth and health daily....whether my body always wants to join me or not....I still put one foot in front of the other and go forward!!!
WHETHER YOU BELieVE IT OR NOT!!!! There is no place else I'd rather be. I'm sure in the end.....if there ever really is an end to our suffering on earth...I KNOW there will be an end to suffering when I am on the other side, I will throw off my grave clothes and dance like no one is watching!!! Until then....I will still dance.
Each. And. Every. Day. I will put on the mantel of JOY and dance!
(I know there will be some who believe that the Lyme and co-infections are hiding...but the form of alternative therapy I used doesn't allow for that!!! Rife kills....it doesn't cause this pleomorphic disease to hide...it kills...consistent, persistent attacking for years...KILLS, detox rids the body of the dead crap and Chinese medicine brought me in a full circle of healing!.....whether you believe it or not....that is NOT my problem!!!)
*This is just my story. I am NOT a doctor and nothing I've said is intended for medical advice. Seek out a professional if you need help....PLEASE DO NOT ASK ME TO HELP YOU....truly only you can do this!!!
**We use a Rife EMEM 3...old technology!
*** Dr Zhang's Chinese Herbal Medicine (he's located in NYC and does consults...call him not me!)
**** Adaptogen Herbs (wide variety to heal the adrenals...no one can heal with the adrenals!)
***** DETOX; coffee enemas, sauna (to remove the dead crap...literally!)
PHOTO CREDIT! Thank you Jeanne Vail for this painting that has floated around on the web. You inspire me!